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HEAVEN HELP US: BE HAPPY SANDWICHES
I need input on the following chapters: If you’ve been or are a care-giver to your parents or other elderly relative, please share with me your personal insights. I welcome your thoughts on each chapter–please share according to the following chapters. Chapter 1 “Knowing When It’s Time,” the introductory chapter, addresses issues of preserving independence as long as possible and covers, in general, options that are dealt with in greater detail in subsequent chapters. Chapter 2 “Gaining Your Parent’s Cooperation” guides readers through the process of working out a compromise, intervention, or other action in the best interest of the loved one. Chapter 3 “Accessing Social and Financial Resources,” gives valuable tips about encouraging parents to extend their social circle and helping them assess their financial situation. This assessment should take place long before it’s actually needed. Chapter 4 “Deciding Among Options” helps readers figure out exactly which type of living situation their parent needs, depending on general health and particular situations. Chapter 5 “Selecting a Care Giving Strategy” helps readers consider the pros and cons of institutions, foster homes, a parent’s own home with day-care, and the reader’s home–or some combination of those four. Chapter 6, “Setting Up Home,” leads readers through the process of preparing a private home for current or eventual use of walkers, wheel chairs, and other assistive devices and advises about emotional preparations for the reality of full time responsibility. Chapter 7, “Helping Parents Keep Their Home,” discusses ways to change a parent’s environment enough to allow him to safely stay in his own home. Readers will learn what to look for and how to assemble resources to protect against fraud perpetrated by those who prey on the elderly; they will also gain tips for hiring and training day care providers. Chapter 8, “Bringing Your Parent into Your Home,” discusses how to integrate a parent’s previous life in a way that preserves her dignity and the care-taker’s mental health. It also covers securing and training in-home help, including innovative ways to trade board and room for services. Chapter 9, “Taking Time for and Care of Yourself,” shows readers how the time of caring for a parent can be one of their greatest joys, if they accept realities and work with changing situations. It also discusses available public and private resources, as well as how to develop the reader’s own networks. Chapter 10, “Settling Your Parent into Assisted Living or Care Center,” details how to manage Mom or Dad’s living situation in way that makes it as close to living at home as possible. Chapter 11, “Working with a Care Center Over Time,” covers knowing when to change levels of care and how to motivate and train “revolving” care takers. Readers will be given “what worked” and “what didn’t” advice from both institutional personnel and family members. Chapter 12, “Maintaining Dignity and Facilitating Independence,” guides readers through being sensitive to emotional and intellectual needs and meeting such challenges as tracking medications to avoid uncomfortable or dangerous interactions and figuring out assistive devices as health changes. Chapter 13, “Strengthening Family Bonds,” covers how to approach, motivate, and reward family members who will support and, perhaps, relieve the primary caretaker. Readers will also receive advice about maintaining bonds with a loved one, without lapsing into irritation, depression, or despair. Chapter 14, “Bringing in Hospice and Planning for Death,” covers specifics that readers may be reluctant to consider; it also considers hospice alternatives and information about using artificial life-prolonging strategies when death is inevitable. Chapter 15, “Handling the Funeral and/or Memorial Service,” gives tips about planning a service that accommodates a parent’s wishes, as well as deals with the sensibilities and emotions of family members left behind. Chapter 16, “Dealing with Grief and Moving Forward,” treats different aspects of recovering from the loss of a parent, especially after an extended period of care-giving. This concluding chapter covers the grieving process and will help put readers’ experiences into perspective, while preserving important lessons learned. |
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