Dear Point System Researchers:
Thanks for consenting to use the Point System with your kids to help me with my new book, The Point System: Raising Kids Without Losing Your Mind. After you review this packet, please call or e-mail me with any questions.
Basically, what I need you to do is to modify the enclosed tracking charts for your particular children. You know what you want them to accomplish and how best to approach them. What I’m giving you are just suggestions–feel free to set things up your way. I appreciate whatever time you spend.
I’d also appreciate your using separate sheets of paper, such as a journal, to evaluate the system. Please consider both what works and what doesn’t. You will note that the system has three versions designed for early childhood, middle childhood, and adolescents. Since no two kids are alike, feel free to mix and match the layout, language, rewards, etc.
Note that the Chocolate Chip version of the charts is for early childhood, because it’s much more concrete than jotting numbers. In fact, most people don’t bother writing down numbers for kids below kindergarten age. They just put the chips into the child’s container or take them out, as appropriate. Kids in kindergarten and first grade can make the transition to numbers but probably will still want the actual chocolate chips (or sweetened cereal pieces, etc.).
The version for teenagers is the most complicated and reflects standards for helping you distinguish between degrees of accomplishment. But for simplicity’s sake, you may want to stay with the 10 for “Outstanding,” 5 for “OK,” and 0 for “Not OK.”
In order for the experiment to work, you need to assign points at least once a day for older kids and twice a day for younger ones. You should sit down with your kids for the assessments, especially at first. However, you can jot numbers on the charts (or toss in a few chocolate chips) when you think about it, as long as you keep each child aware of what you are doing.
Some kids like you to be very specific and they enjoy watching the point totals grow. Others only want to know that they are doing OK and would rather you just let them know in a more informal way. They don’t care when you write down the points, as long as things are posted where they can see for themselves.
If you come up with any streamlining ideas, be sure to note them in your assessment journal and e-mail me. I’m especially interested in your ideas for keeping things simple, yet effective.
After the first few days, you and your kids may feel bored or bothered and would rather just chuck the whole thing. Resist the urge! Just like any good habit, you have to think more in the beginning, until the process becomes more automated.
SUMMARY:
(1) Have a family night to discuss the System and how you are going to implement it. Let the kids give you input on what they like to do and what they don’t like to do. But don’t give them veto power-–you are the authority.
(2) Stress that the purposes of the System are to improve the spirit in your home and teach your children how to be productive, happy adults. ALSO STRESS THAT YOU, AS THE ADULT HAVE THE FINAL SAY IN AWARDING POINTS.
(3) Change the charts to reflect your family’s preferences. I can send them to you in WordPerfect or RichText if the pdf file doesn’t work for you, so you can revise them.
(4) Post the charts on the refrigerator or other central place where your kids can see them.
(5) Put up check lists where you want your kids to learn a particular activity; i.e. in the bathroom, near the kitchen sink, over the washing machine, etc. I can send you suggestions for these at your request.
(6) Set a specific time for going over the points. Just before lunch and bedtime are appropriate for preschool kids. Right after they get home from school and before bedtime are good for kids in school. Once a day at bedtime works OK for most teens, although some may need more frequent reinforcement–especially if you are trying to change negative behavior.
(7) Post points regularly and tie them to rewards. Remember, if it’s not worth earning points (i.e. you extend privileges when your kids haven’t earned “satisfactory” level points) then this system is just a bunch of numbers and will not work for you.
(8) Reflect on the process as often as possible; be specific. I’d like to know what you said and what your kids said–quotes are great!
(9) Ask pre-teens or teenagers to make written observations on separate sheets. Reserve the journal for your private impressions–the more candid the better. I won’t directly name you or your kids, unless you specifically tell me to do so. Everything you say will be kept in confidence.
(10) Send everything to me as often as possible by e-mail or snail mail (you can send copies). You can also call me at any time to talk about your experiences.
Again, thank you for helping me out. Your experiences and observations are vital to the success of this book! For your trouble, you’ll receive a free copy of the book, when it’s published. And you’ll be quoted if you wish.
Sincerely,
Corrie Lynne
