You had so many kids and grandkids and I’d love to have you help me out with a piece I’m writing.

If you have time to answer a couple questions below, that would be wonderful, but I completely understand if it's too last minute.

Thanks so much!
Cassidy

HOW MUCH INFLUENCE DO YOU THINK A GRANDPARENT CAN HAVE ON HOW THEIR GRANDCHILDREN ARE DISCIPLINED?

That depends on the relationship the grandparents have with their adult children. Some grown children seek advice and help (help more often than advice!!) Others put up barriers, and still others sort of flip back and forth between the two extremes.

ARE PARENTS TODAY MORE RELAXED ABOUT DISCIPLINE THAN PAST GENERATIONS?

I don’t know if “more relaxed” are the right words, frankly, I think too many parents of my generation didn’t discipline well at all! They had “child centered” homes where the kids called the shots and where parents fussed and worried and didn’t want their kids to “hate” them, so they never set boundaries. And if they did, they failed to follow through on consequences or be consistent. I could go on and on here!!

WHY DO YOU THINK GRANDPARENTS FEEL FRUSTRATED ABOUT HOW THEIR CHILDREN DISCIPLINE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN?

Because they know the results of the particular discipline tactic! They know that not setting limits will hurt the child in the long run. If the grandparents think they raised pretty great kids with their own particular style, they get frustrated when they see their kids using very different methods.

WHAT DISCIPLINE ISSUES DO YOU THINK PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS CLASH OVER THE MOST?

Again, that depends on the relationship the grandparents and parents have. If the relationship is poor, then there’s not much a grandparent can say or do that the parents will listen to.


IF A GRANDPARENT DISAGREES WITH THE WAY THEIR CHILDREN DISCIPLINE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE IT?
Again, this goes back to the relationship–in order to have any effect at all, you’ve got to have communication.
I advise grandparents to “zip their lips” on discipline, unless they see abuse. If they think the child is being abused, either emotionally or physically, then they have an obligation to their grandchild to step in and stop it. But they mustn’t do so in front of the child, unless it’s situation where 911 should be called.