My interactive workshop “Understanding and Coping with the Adolescent Brain” focuses on parenting with reliance on a higher power (however an individual defines that power) and a sense of humor. The presentation starts with a sharing of the crazy things adolescents do (I give a personal example of my nephew showing his mother a "neat trick" he learned while jumping on the neighbor's trampoline and knocking himself cold, because he tried to show her the trick while standing in the kitchen--the fact he wasn't on the trampoline completely slipped his mind).

Then I briefly address, in very simple terms, recent research on radical changes in teen brains which explains such goofy behavior. At that point, I reinforce the fact that parents must take the place of their child’s low-functioning brain and establish clear, consistent boundaries that enable tweens and teens to grow into independent adults.

The first part of the workshop covers five specific ways to deal with kids in the throes of what I call “melted brains”: (1) Don’t take behaviors personally, (2) Stay calm, (3) Be consistent, (4) Set simple boundaries, and (5) Establish clear, innovative consequences.

During the second part of the workshop, I present my copyrighted Point System, a behavior-modification program that I developed which is anger-free, positive, and very effective. I then demonstrate how parents can use The Point System to (1) manage anger appropriately, and (2) maintain consistency in setting consequences.

The Point System was originally developed for my special needs foster home; we took behaviorally challenged adolescents who were one step away from the criminal justice system. However, within a short time, I realized that The System worked even better with my own, mostly normal, children. Over the years, I’ve refined and expanded it and, as a result of my writing and speaking, have recruited nearly 100 “test driver” families around the country.

JUST WHAT THE POINT SYSTEM IS

The Point System involves three different number evaluations that must be written down at least once a day: (1) attitude in general, (2) environmental responsibility (picking up after yourself), and (3) performance on assigned chores. Each of these categories are rated on a scale of 1 - 10, with 10 meaning “Couldn’t Be Better.”

“Attitude” includes tone of voice and “body language,” as well as what is said. Most parents (and teachers) know that not a lot can be accomplished without a “good” attitude.

“Picking up and environmental responsibility” refers to convincing family members to put things away, clean up after themselves, etc.

“Chores” is a pretty self-explanatory category, but plays a key role in teaching kids a work ethic. The System can be as complicated or as simple as parents want to make it.

Those who successfully use the system know they must (1) be concrete and (2) make the rewards worth while. The Point System works because it’s concrete and it focuses on good behavior. When kids get attention for certain behaviors, they repeat that behavior But the system isn’t easy to set up or maintain; it’s not a magic bullet.

However, the effort parents expend on the Point System to figure out what’s best for their families, coupled with reliance on a power greater than themselves and a sense of humor, will solve most of the problems they face with their adolescents.

However, because the workshop is interactive, the audience basically determines the specific slant. I can discuss curfews, education, sibling rivalry, driving issues, eating disorders, discipline, developing self-esteem, friend issues, etc., depending on what the group wants (I distribute cards at the beginning of the session for parents to write down problems, issues, questions, etc. anonymously). I don't try to cover everything but tailor my remarks to the time frame available.

I also provide useful, interesting handouts: “Selected Reviews, Reactions, and Raves”, “Confronting the Challenges of Today’s World,” “Four Points from Loving Firmness.”

My credentials include raising nine of my own and more than 40 foster children, many of them behaviorally challenged adolescents. And I have 29 grandchildren, ranging in age from newborn to 18 years. I’m a ClubMom expert, am on several advisory boards, and my foster care license is current. I’ve been a journalist and well-established author for 34 years; my work has appeared in regional and national publications, including Sunday Woman, Military LifeStyle, Trailer Life, Parents, American Baby, and Family Circle. I also write a regular parenting column for two local newspapers, "Heaven Help Us."

You can find out more about me on my website: www.corrielynneplayer.com. Please call me at the above number–if you don’t reach me, leave a message, but also try my cell phone, because my business takes me away from my desk.

CORRIE LYNNE PLAYER