“The Point System Really Works”

By Corrie Lynne Player


“Stop that bickering right now!!”

“Mooooommmm! Jeremy wagged his butt at me!”

“Nyah! You did it, too! I’m telling!”

Arguments, teasing, and even hand to hand combat seem to be the order of the day in many homes. Child psychologists often tell parents to ignore the fighting, unless actual violence is involved. They reason that fighting is really a bid for attention; if parents refuse to be drawn into the conflict, kids will solve things themselves.

I’ve never been comfortable with such logic. When my kids screamed at each other, slammed doors, and kicked the walls, I felt like a failure as a mother. I don’t think members of families should be rude, vindictive, or nasty. But for a long time, I endured without knowing quite what to do.